In my sophomore year of highschool, there was a skanky bitch who thought she was a nice piece of ass. Due to this thought, she was also a major whore and I thought it’d be funny to find out how whoreish she really was. So a close guy friend, let’s call him Tom, and I came up with a plan to find out. So, the nasty fuckers that Tom and I are, we decided to see if this bitch could tell the difference between milk and jizz. She made it all that much easier because she seemed to have milk everyday with her lunch. So, after a couple of days of semen collection on Tom’s behalf, the plan proceeded. We simply distracted her with a little flirting from Tom (this chick ate it up from anyone), and I slipped the couple of ounces of dick juice into her milk. to our delight, she finished that glass completely unknowing. Fucking whores.
Do you remember the time when we were walking to the store and we were talking about the chick that had just moved in with me who you said you fully wanted to bone, so I gave you full warning that the bitch had herpes, and slid you a condom and told you that I was just looking out for you…. remember when I woke up and you guys were naked and the unwrapped condom was on the floor…. I tried bro…
So there was this one time I was walking home from a friends, in a good mood and all. But I started to feel my stomach cramping, and it started to hit me I really needed to take a dump. At first it was fine, thinking my place wasn’t far but then minutes later, panic overtook me, I really needed to fucking blow this torpedo! So I ran, holding my ass, to the park nearby in the middle of many backyards and without thinking I ripped my pants off and sat on a boulder. Yes, a random ass big boulder, and unleashed a volcano of Mexican food. While I was trying to shit, ’cause believe me shitting on a rock ain”t an easy task, I started to hear kids and family’s nearby in their backyard in close view of my disgusting display. I ran from the scene quite fast, embarrassed as all hell, still no idea if anyone actually saw me, but I won’t be going there for a while.
in the end I still got shit in my pants….
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Okay so what if you were sitting at your house and you looked outside and saw a house on fire and inside the house there were a bunch of kids. You run next door to try to get them out but the door is locked and someone says “The key is inside this horses cock, and you have to suck it out, it’ll come out when the horse cums.”
It was in the afternoon and you were at work and I was waiting for a ride to come pick me up so I thought it was a great idea to take a nasty fat shit into your coffee maker and have a nice cup of steamy shit waiting for you when you arrived home . Well, as the shit coffee was brewing, I totally had to take another shit so I did it in your clothes drawer and to make it better I smashed your driver licence into it so you had to touch my shit . I cleaned myself up and my ride got there before you came home but what I didn’t know until you told me was the coffee maker over flowed and it was a shit storm every where .
Do you remember when we were pissed at your fat ass and decided to make flyers with your face on it to hand out around your neighborhood to warn your neighbors there was a child molester on the loose ? Wow, I had a great fucking time and the best part is with the remaining flyers we knocked on your door and threw them all over your yard . I heard you tried to go door to door to collect them but your fat ass got too tired due to the fact there were hundreds of them.
Remember that time all three of us girls got into an argument at the hotel, me vs. you two. and you two decided to leave the hotel and trust me alone with your stuff? and lastly, remember how later that night you two said your toothbrushes tasted bad?
Guess who took a beautiful shit and scrubbed the toilet out with you two’s toothbrushes? This girl right here.