When I was a kid, my dad’s side of the family were semi strict christian’s so whenever I was there for a weekend I always got dragged to the church for service’s and event’s and what not. I was always bored as shit and hated it. I guess even as a kid most of the stuff they preached about I found to be bullshit. So one time, and this was around the masturbating phase, when you first find out about it, during one Sunday service, I asked to be excused to go to the bathroom but went and Got myself off in the stall. But when I went to go at it again, some Sunday school boys wondered in, and sure enough found me and caught me in the act ’cause I didn’t hear them and of course those little christian asshole’s told everyone and I got in shit and preached to about how dirty and wrong it was. Church was never the same. I guess God really does watch you. Ha!